Coming Out of the Closet
In order to come out of the closet, one must be in the closet to begin with. This is the story of how I found refuge in a closet and eventually came out. Sound a little enigmatic? Here’s what happened.
Today was the day my apartment and my landlord’s apartment were getting their annual carpet steam cleaning. We’ve used the same company for several years. We have also been fortunate to have the same technician. He always does an awesome job and gives us special treatment. He will certainly be missed whenever he decides to retire which may be sooner than later. Okay, not relevant to this story.
I happen to have extremely sensitive hearing. Loud sounds, whatever the source, tend to do a number on my ears. If any of the nerve endings around my ears gets irritated, my hearing gets a little wonky for a week or two. Fortunately, my actual hearing is fine, it’s just that every sound gets crazy magnified during that period. I try to take precautions when I know there will be abnormal loudness. Garden variety ear plugs are not effective and I have not gotten around to getting something more powerful. You know, along the lines of those head sets construction workers use.
My apartment gets done first as it is on the top floor. D, the technician, works his way downstairs from here.
Knowing how loud the cleaning equipment is, I arranged to stay in the apartment down stairs until he finished here.
Another component of the scenario is my eating requirement. Between meal snacks do not sufficiently hold me over until meal time. Consequently, I need to eat when I need to eat. My plan was to make my lunch and bring it downstairs with me. Well, as Bobby Burns wrote, “The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men / Gang aft agley.” My plans definitely ganged agley!
As I was preparing my lunch which included putting on the kettle for a coffee. This coffee is my one a day and must be supremo. In the middle of my preparations I was jolted by a massive sound. D started a little sooner than expected and turned on all of the various equipment at once. There was no way I could finish making my sandwich and the coffee fast enough to bring downstairs. Besides there were hoses and machines all over the place meaning no way out. The sounds were so disturbing I screwed up the coffee which is disasterous in itself. I also realized I could not eat my lunch with all that going on around me. I tried covering my ears with a kitchen towel. It barely muffled the sound. Sitting in my kitchen with a towel over my head for the next 40 minutes was not an option. What to do?
Hmmm. There is a pantry in my kitchen. Only problem is that very little space exists between the edge of the shelves and the door. I squished myself in that space and closed the door. Continuous standing for the next 40 minutes was going to cause pain in my back and legs. I found a way to partially park part of my butt on the bottom shelf. There was no leaning back as the edges of the shelves jutted outward. A partial sitting position was way better than no sitting at all. Fortunately, I had my phone with me so I called a friend to chat the time away. It also distracted me from the now muted noise. We had a lot of fun making fun of my predicament.
D must have realized where I had disappeared. He popped his head into the closet a couple of times to give me updates about how much longer he would be. With his second visit he said it would only be another 10 minutes. Then he informed me that when he shuts off the machines, I will know he was finished. Ya think?
My friend and I continued chatting. Suddenly I heard a different sound. Holy Simon and Garfunkel. It was the sound of silence. I came out of the closet and proceeded to eat my cold lunch and drink the very disappointing coffee. I didn’t have the energy to remake anything. What can I say? Stuff happens. The good news is that the carpets in my apartment are beautiful and I had a little misadventure to share.
Comments are welcomed.