I've decided I’ve been too serious lately. Life has been too serious and disturbing lately. I figured it was time to lighten things up. Below are several one-liners that I hope will bring some smiles to your day as it has mine.
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house … but the kids still get in.
Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
I used to believe that all things must pass—until I got stuck behind a school bus.
The CEO of IKEA was elected Prime Minister in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
If everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Comments are welcomed.
Sometimes it’s a good thing to take a thinking break and not bother. Following is some word play just for fun.
Rearranging the letters of the words below turns them into a second phrase.
Dormitory becomes Dirty Room
Presbyterian - Best in Prayer
Astronomer - Moon Starer
Desperation - A Rope ends It
The Eyes - They See
George Bush - He Bugs Gore
The Morse Code - Here Come Dots
Slot Machines - Cash Lost in Me
Animosity - Is No Amity
Election Results - Lies Let's Recount
Mother-In-Law - Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms - Alas No More Z's
A Decimal Point Im a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes - That Queer Shake
Eleven Plus Two - Twelve Plus One
Comments are welcome.