My right brain is still struggling a bit getting the creative juices going. Therefore, I must refer back to my pal, Dr. Seuss when he said how nonsense wakes up the brain cells. Let’s go with some of that nonsense. Let’s have some smiles, maybe some groans, to hopefully brighten up our day. Following is a list of funny bone ticklers.. (Thank you, Steven Wright) Enjoy.
I intend to live forever—so far, so good.
I used to work for a factory that made hydrants, but you couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
Take my advice — I'm not using it.
Sure, I'd love to help you out … now, which way did you come in?
Did you ever stop to think and forget to start again?
The sign said "eight items or less.” So I changed my name to Les.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Someone told me half of all car accidents happen within a mile of your house. So I moved.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Comments are welcomed.