I've decided I’ve been too serious lately. Life has been too serious and disturbing lately. I figured it was time to lighten things up. Below are several one-liners that I hope will bring some smiles to your day as it has mine.
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house … but the kids still get in.
Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
I used to believe that all things must pass—until I got stuck behind a school bus.
The CEO of IKEA was elected Prime Minister in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
If everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Comments are welcomed.